LEAVE DEAN ALONE!!!
Before the day ends…
(Which is technically already has, but bear with me…)
I wanted to share my story of July 13, 2013.
That weekend had been a camping weekend with a group of friends from my church. I don’t particularly like camping, but I like those people, so I went.
I had a good time, but by Sunday morning I was very tired and very ready to come home.
I got a ride home with a friend, and ironically didn’t hear anything about celebrity news on the hour drive home.
I got to my house, and thankfully the people I was living with at the time were already gone for church that morning, so I had the house to myself. The first thing I wanted to do was take a shower, but I decided to turn the computer on and reconnect with the world for a few minutes first.
My home page is my Facebook. And I started scrolling through it, looking at the posts from other friends who were not camping with me.
One particular post caught my eye that morning, as I read it, completely unaware of what I was about to discover.
A friend of mine had posted a status that simply read, “So sad to hear about Cory Monteith.”
Now, at seeing this, my first thought was something along the lines of, “Oh no, he’s back in rehab.” That thought was saddening in itself. It really never crossed my mind that it might be something much worse.
Of course, not knowing the context, my heart started pounding a little. And as I read through the comments on the post, I felt myself starting to panic. Reading things about sympathy for Lea, and how the whole thing seemed unbelievable. It was then that I knew something was very, very wrong.
I quickly opened a new window and went to IMDB. The first thing I saw was the scrolling news across the top of the screen that read those dreaded words, “Cory Monteith Dead At 31”.
My heart dropped.
There is no other way to describe it.
I actually felt my knees give out.
I instantly put a hand over my mouth in true, movie-shock, fashion and clicked on the headline. I actually audibly gasped.
I was a person who had a love/hate relationship with Glee since season two. Finally decided that it was making me more angry by watching it, than I was enjoying it, and stopped. But I always had a soft spot in my heart for Cory. In fact, I had a very large soft spot in my heart for Cory. Even after I stopped watching Glee, I followed his career. I knew a lot about him, and I admired him a lot. And sure, I had a “crush” on him, as most of us did. But it was about more than that.
I loved him because he was a Canadian boy, who didn’t let fame go to his head. Who always remembered where he came from. And who had overcome so much in his short life, and shared those experiences openly. He never hid them from us. He inspired us through his strength.
Was he perfect? No.
Obviously not, because if that were the case, he would still be with us. But the point of the matter is not that his addiction beat him, but that he left such a legacy of helping people and giving back while he was here.
Reading comments from people after his death was maddening. People being so ignorant about the power of addiction. I know the power of it. You can be the greatest and nicest person in the world, and still have it beat you. It doesn’t care who you are, and Cory was not an exception.
July 13, 2013 was a terrible day for me. I spent most of it in tears, and that spread into the next few days. And then a few weeks, where the tears became less frequent, but the feeling was no less painful. Then we got into months, where it became easier to watch those clips on Youtube, and listen to that voice on my phone.
Now we’re at a year. One whole year, and I can still remember it like it were yesterday. I remember everything I felt and everything it meant.
Cory’s death changed me. In so many ways. It inspired me to beat my own addiction (which is not drugs or alcohol), and while I am not “cured” (are we ever really?), I am proud to say that I am two whole months clean, which is the longest I’ve gone in a very long time.
My anniversary is Cory’s birthday - May 11th. That was the day I decided enough was enough.
So, thank you Cory. Thank you for inspiring so many people while you were here, and thank you for being my inspiration after you were gone.
I love you and miss you, always.
"We will love you and miss you always."
Just discovered that today is my 4 year anniversary on Tumblr. Considering what my blog mostly consists of, this seems fitting.
Remembering this time last year like it was yesterday.
It’s a different kind of emotion now though. Still sad, but more…reflective?
One Year On: Remembering Cory Monteith
"There are two things you’ve got to remember about Cory. One is he’s a really funny guy with a great sense of humor. And he loved life and he always took care of his friends and he wanted his friends to be happy so it’s only right that we try and smile again, try to laugh again. It’s something that he would have wanted." - Darren Criss
"The only thing I can say about Cory is he would have noticed you. There’s not an autograph he didn’t sign and there’s not a face that he didn’t look at and there’s nobody that didn’t get a smile, and that was really important to him. He lived in gratitude."